Saturday, May 7, 2011

Great American Road Trips

Ah the open road, what more can you say about the quintessential American past-time (after Football, Baseball, politics etc etc). From movies like Easy Rider we get to see the gritty under belly of America and yet we also witness the beauty and wonder of nature. So it is that we saddle up and drive in order to avoid TSA groping our bodies and restricting how much liquid we can carry on board. We drive wildly inappropriate fuel guzzling vehicles a thousand miles just to buy a Twinkie (I'm sure that's a quote from a book but I can't remember where), then turn around again and drive all the way back. Dodge and weave between trucks and RVs as they slow on steep inclines. Slow suddenly as you see a white highway patrol car sit in the median waiting for unsuspecting out of towners to roar through their patch.

With that I bring you a count down of some of my favorite drives. Something has to be bottom and with that I bring you...

(Last) - I-10 Phoenix to Austin
Car - 1999 Lincoln Town Car
Highlight - Getting to the end

Look at the map of America and you see a nice grid of Interstates criss-crossing the country.  Generally speaking east-west roads are numbered as multiples of ten starting in the south, north south roads end in a five. I-10 is just one long straight road running through west Texas with nothing to do but stop occasionally to refuel. You'd be surprised but according to the trip computer, the Town Car gets an astonishing 20 mpg as you rush through Texas at 80 mph. Yeah, it was that boring I ended up playing with the trip computer.

(4) - I-5 Phoenix to Napa
Car -1999 Lincoln Town Car
Highlight - seeing how much wine you can fit in the trunk of a Town Car (hint, it's more than you can take on a plane)

Here's a pro-tip for those visiting a wine region. Take along a pregnant friend. She'll happily carry on knitting in the background while you sample wine after wine after wine, then drive your sorry ass back home. The drive along I-5 is mostly unremarkable, though you do get to see the great bulk of America's citrus farms. There are better looking routes through California such as the coast road, but when speed is of the essence and a big ugly looking storm is on your tail threatening to subsequently wash the road away you don't care for views. We got home safely at about 2 am with the storm chasing us down all the way to Phoenix.

(3) - The Road to Hana
Car - Tourist Special (Ford Mustang)
Highlight - Narrow winding roads

The guidebooks do little justice to this road that winds its way around the island of Maui. It is chock full of stunning scenery as the narrow winding road takes you past colorful beaches, hidden little waterfalls and "the real Hawaii". Unfortunately you have to contend with all the other tourists driving their Ford Mustangs or open top Jeeps. The trick is of course timing. Wake up late and avoid the rush. Wake up late and miss out on the last slice of the pie of the day and have your wife hold it over your head for ever! The guidebook also says to leave early in order to give yourself enough time to get home before nightfall. Pfft, we laugh at your lack of night vision. Ok, so the locals know the roads even in the dark and they are narrow and winding and there does seem to be a big drop over the cliffs but hey, it's dark, what you can't see and all that....

(2) Prescott to Jerome SR89A
Car - 1999 Lincoln Town Car
Highlight - Very winding

There are other ways to get to the cute little old mining cum wine town but 89A has some of the best switchbacks out there. You start off driving across the high plains from Prescott and you see some mountains loom up in the distance, seemingly vertical cliffs in front of you, you're about to pick your way through. Time it right and you can have a clear shot up the many winding corners without a silly RV getting in your way. Be careful as you get to Jerome, it arrives suddenly and you can easily miss it.

(1) Phoenix to Salt Lake City
Car - 1999 Lincoln Towncar
Highlights - Moki Dugway, SR95

There are two main ways to go north. The boring yet quick I-15 which we took on the return or the more easterly route using mostly state routes. Ah state routes, the archetypal American cross country road. Often just a single lane in each direction, no median, just a yellow line. Watch also for a complete lack of decent food stops especially as you thread your way through the reservation land. But it is just so pretty, every crest a new vista, every vista a new "oh my". SR95 winds its way through the bulk of Utah and is magnificent, winding canyon roads, cresting hills, views you just cannot match. To get to SR95 you have to pass through the Moki Dugway. It's called a Dugway not a highway, that gives you a hint to its hand made quality. In the space of a few miles driving you rise 1000ft on a narrow gravel road with really tight switchbacks. I cannot imagine driving a heavily laden ore truck up and down it. This is the sign that greets you at the bottom:


I smile, the wife doesn't. It should be noted that the Town Car does not in fact have electronic stability control, it does not have an active limited slip differential, it doesn't have adaptive suspension or much in the way of fancy gadgets. It is a big heavy rear wheel drive car with a ladder chassis basically designed in the late 70s early 80s. It slides and squirms as ruts in the gravel catch the tires. Gentle gentle pressure on the gas feeds the oversized and under powered V8 as we make our way to the top. But what a view!

They say the road to hell is really grippy and has some wicked quick left rights along the way